Catechism Question 60
What is the fifth commandment, and what does it teach us?
The fifth commandment is “You shall honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” It teaches us that we must not dishonor or disrespect our parents or any others in authority over us, but must honor, submit, and obey them as those given authority over us by God. We are to do this so that we may enjoy a long and prosperous life.
Focus and Purpose of this Question
This question focuses on the fifth commandment. In this commandment, we are told that we must honor our father and mother. With this command, we now turn to the “second table of the law” – our responsibilities before God for our fellow humans.
In a certain sense, all of the remaining commands are built upon the foundation laid out in this command. If we do not learn to honor and respect the authorities over us – beginning with our parents – there is no way we will have a heart to do the good to our neighbors required in the remaining commands.
Several things should be noted about this command. First, it explicitly speaks of honoring parents. Obviously, this means that God commands us to honor our parents. But carefully note that the command is not “children honor your parents” for that might imply that the command ceases in adulthood. But it does not. Parents are to be honored throughout life.
Second, the command speaks of “honoring” rather than “obeying.” Certainly, children are to honor their parents by obeying them, but the command is after more than external obedience. It is after a heart attitude. This is why even in adulthood, and in fact even after the parent has died and there is no further chance for obedience, our attitude should be one of honor.
Third, as with the other commands, both the negative and the positive aspects are included. In other words, we are to honor and submit to our parents, and thus we are forbidden from harboring a rebellious, dishonoring attitude towards them.
Fourth, the New Testament interprets this command as having broader application than just parents and children. The same principle that demands children honor their parents also underlies the command to submit to governing rules and those with authority in any realm of our life. Thus, while the command explicitly teaches honoring of parents, it implicitly teaches that we honor all those in authority. This may be seen in a number of the verses listed below.
Fifth, this is the only command that has a promise attached to it. God told the Israelites that if they adopted this attitude towards authority, they would live long in the land God was giving them. Paul expands this to be long life on earth. This promise indicates that God blesses those who show their faith by having an attitude of honor and submission to the authorities given by God. Of course, this does not mean that it happens in every single instance, but it does speak of the general truth that those who walk in this way will experience blessing and long life, while those who are rebellious and dishonoring often experience lives of frustration and futility.
Finally, it should be noted that this command to honor does not mean that we are required to obey every command given by those in authority over us. There are times where we must disobey authorities because their orders are violations of God’s commands in Scripture. However, even when we must disobey, we must maintain an attitude of honor and submission rather than rebellion. All of this is indicated in the last few verses and “Questions for Further Discussion” below.
Additional Questions:
What is the fifth commandment? What does it teach us? What promise does it give?
What is the fifth commandment? What does it forbid us from doing? What does it teach us to do?
Scripture References:
Exodus 20:12
Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
Deuteronomy 5:16
Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
Leviticus 19:3
Each of you must respect his mother and father, and you must observe my Sabbaths. I am the Lord your God.
Ephesians 6:1–3
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Proverbs 1:8
Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
Proverbs 15:20
A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish man despises his mother.
Proverbs 20:20
If a man curses his father or mother, his lamp will be snuffed out in pitch darkness.
Romans 13:1–7
Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2 Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. 3 For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. 4 For he is God’s servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God’s servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. 5 Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. 6 This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, who give their full time to governing. 7 Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.
Hebrews 13:7, 17
Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith…. 17 Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:12–13
Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. 13 Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other.
Colossians 3:18–4:1
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. 22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism.
4:1 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.
1 Peter 2:17
Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king.
Acts 4:19–20
But Peter and John replied, “Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God. 20 For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.”
Exodus 1:15–17
The king of Egypt said to the Hebrew midwives, whose names were Shiphrah and Puah, 16“When you help the Hebrew women in childbirth and observe them on the delivery stool, if it is a boy, kill him; but if it is a girl, let her live.” 17 The midwives, however, feared God and did not do what the king of Egypt had told them to do; they let the boys live.
Questions for Further Discussion:
What does the fifth commandment teach us? What does it forbid? What does it command us to do?
Does this command only apply to our parents, or does it have broader application to all those in authority over us? Why?
According to Scripture, who has placed people in authority over us? If we are dishonoring and rebellious towards them, what does it reveal about our attitude towards God?
Why is it important for us to honor and submit to the people in authority over us, especially our parents? What happens to a family and society where this is not done?
Is it ever right to disobey those in authority? If so, when are we allowed to do this? Can you think of biblical examples of this?
What should our attitude be even if we can not follow the commands and laws of those in authority?
What promise is given as part of the fifth commandment? Why do you think God specifically attached a promise to this commandment?
Additional Information:
This question is based on question 104 of the Heidelberg Catechism, questions 63-66 of the Westminster Shorter Catechism, and question 10 of the New City Catechism. Any resources you find on the Heidelberg, Westminster Shorter, or New City Catechisms will have a good discussion on this question.
For additional information, see the teachings “The God of Generations” (February 16, 2020), “Called to Family” (November 16, 2012), “Relationships and Responsibilities in Christ the Lord” (June 24, 2012), “Living with a Multi-Generational Perspective” (November 4, 2007), “Spring – Young Children” (May 29, 2005), “Called to Citizenship” (November 25, 2012), and “Living in Godly Submission” (Part 1) (July 18, 2010).
Suggested Worship Song:
The Family Prayer Song (Promise Keepers Version)
(This song speaks of a family that is submitted to God and therefore full of His Presence.. This should be the longing of every Christian family, and it is the most important attitude that will lead to the embracing of the fifth commandment in all of life.)
Come and fill our homes with your presence
You alone are worthy of our reverence
CHORUS
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
We will serve the Lord.
Lord we vow to live holy
Bowing our knees to You only